Christbitten (The Best View From Heaven) 

SICKFIXATION
Christbitten (The Best View From Heaven) Sickfixation 2020 ©… AK Recordings

Christbitten
Valium Angel
mE tIME
Thy Pimp In Heaven
Suicide Of Stage
Distracted (detention with an erection)
It Can’t be far (The Edge Of Our World)
Punched in charge of stitches (Forever Bonded)
Angel Gun (God Has Had His Fun)

SICKFIXATION: Christbitten (The Best View From Heaven) All Music & Lyrics: Nüj Farrow
AK Recordings 2020 sickfixation©…
The Cast: Conceived by Nüj Farrow: Vocals/ Bass Guitar/ Drums/ Rhythm Guitars harmonica & keyboards..Neil Sadler: Acoustic/ Lead and Ambient Guitar/ midi orchestrated effects.
Stems And Bass Guitar recorded at Studio 44. Christbitten Recorded Produced and engineered at No Machine Studios by Neil Sadler:

Christbitten 2020 sickfixation©

Back in 2018 i had a group of songs ready to record in the studio and i was unsure about half of them being not up to scratch so i filed all the songs and started work on the Amelia Dyer Ep .
Then came 2019. It all started to go wrong from the 16th of March when i went out with a friend to a concert and things got very messy leading me to having a serious fall . No one knows what actually happened that night but one moment i was in the club and the next i woke in my friends hotel room covered in blood with a black eye and concussion so bad i couldn’t walk in a straight line. I managed to stagger to the taxi stop and get home where i stayed in bed for days until my concussion got so bad i got a lift to hospital from a friend to get a scan to see if i had any serious damage but nothing was broken apart from i had become completely deaf in my right ear. Has time went on and i got on with life with only hearing in one ear it wasn’t long before i was back in hospital again with an uncontrollable nose bleed and by then it was about May and i had my 49th Birthday..

Then came June and my wife had been saying that she didn’t feel well and she kept coming home crying and getting very confused. She had been to the doctors and been diagnosed with a simple infection but after weeks of her not getting better her daughter took her into hospital where she had a scan on the same machine i had been on a few months back and she was diagnosed with brain cancer .
She died on the 16th of July.

During my wife’s illness after visiting her everyday while she was in the hospice i did the only thing i could to express my pain and feelings and i hit the home studio and opened the album files i was working on in 2018 before the Amelia Dyer Ep and got to work.

The first idea that i worked on was the short intro idea called “Christbitten” It is all about what i would say if i was stood before my maker if there is one? And all the things i feel i would ask. Even though i wrote this years ago from what was happening it was very relevant for the kick off of this new project.

The next song i worked on was “mE tIME” this song i wrote a few years back after my niece was killed in a car accident. Because of busy life and living a distance away from me i felt i never got to visit family has much as i wish i should of. And putting material things and money before the things in life that really matter .Time is ticking and i wish to this day i could go back and change a lot.

“Thy pimp in heaven” was next and returning to the Chistbitten story i felt the need to write a story about my fears of punishment and judgment forced into my life from a religious upbringing .After all the shit and trouble in my life i struggle to this day to find reason for any of it. This was the first time i got acoustic on a song and i wanted it to have that New Orleans kind of skull and voodoo sound. Kind of a standing at the crossroads with the devil.

“Distracted” Was inspired by that old story school boy fantasy and teenage frustration. I wrote this song a long time ago and always wanted to record it in the studio one day. There are also preferences to my experiences with the church from when i had my first mental breakdown when i was 21. And some of the things that happened when i was at my most venerable back then. Also a verse about my first marriage and basically all the things that have distracted me from doing a lot of things i have missed out on in life.

“Punched in charge of stitches” Is the oldest of all the songs on this album i wrote the lyrics originally in 2003 but never got to record it in the studio. The song is about the dark side of a relationship and all that happens behind closed doors. It is a very personal song and i don’t want to say no more then that but the lyrics speak for themselves no relationship is ever easy and that is what this song is all about.

The last of the old songs on my studio system was the song “Angel Gun” the lyrics where written around another song i had recorded in 2017 called S.U.D.Missons and one day while playing around on guitar with some of the lyrics from it a basic layout of a new song kind of put itself together.

“Valium Angel” Everyone of the verses in this song are about past personal experience and few of them i might of taken from an old demo i found of a song that was not really working. But the music for the verse was working and i had no chorus until one day i came home in July 2019 from visiting my wife at the hospice and i stood in the kitchen in my home when the rays of the sun came into the room through the shutters and filled the room. And i remember saying.
“Stay away from my suffering
You King of Kings”
The next day i worked on the song and it all fell together. To me this is the most powerful song on the album and it speaks volumes about my life and loves and is testament of that to this day .

“Safe from heavens messenger who haunts my door
You cant force your way
Sin and all I’ve done and more
in weakness and in suffering i will never open this door
And you would never want to live in my broken heart no more”

“Suicide Of Stage” Depression and Anxiety are something i have struggled with for many years and i wanted to work on the subject of explaining my thoughts on reasons why people take there own life. Most people think that someone decides to end things but i am sure there is a lot more to it then that. The people who get into finical trouble don’t just decide to kill themselves without some underlying mental illness. Its not possible other wise you could just stop breathing . Not possible. Peoples minds are like computers and sometimes they crash . The lyrics on this song are about what i call the “haunted” the people we become so overwhelmed with hopelessness they are possibly helplessly watching themselves kill themselves. I class suicide has “Self Murder” and it is something that should be dealt with by anyone who is feeling helpless. Its so important to reach out for help and talk about any mental issues without any shame. Don’t become Hunted.

“It can’t be far” Is the last song i wrote for the album Christbitten and the song is dedicated to my wife. This is my speech from her funeral

it can’t be far
the words she said to me every time i couldn’t find my bank cards keys or anything in our home.
we both met each other back in 2001 just before 911 working together on the night shift and i worked on the goods in door and would bring her cage of stock to the house hold lane.
One night i was in the next lane and i could hear her kicking of literally and a can of pledge flew towards me and nearly hit me. so i went to talk to her for the first time and she shouted at me “Who stacked this in here its all over the place”
After i helped her pick up her outrage i asked her if she wanted to go for a coffee in the morning? And she said yes without looking at me and that was the start of all you need to know,

We got our first home together in west Reading in 2002/3 now with both our pasts behind us things only got better with me landing my dream job in the music making world and my wife got to sell Avon and have 3 jobs working nights
looking after her children in the afternoon and walking the streets in the evening selling make up. Anything to stop her sleeping . All the time i have known her she has had the sleeps for wimps attitude and always did right till the end.

We built a lovely home in west Reading but due to my music projects plans and wanting to be closer to the children and her new work looking after people has a care worker we decided to move to a bigger project in Woodley
From the day we moved to Woodley life flip flopped i was made redundant and spent a lot of time working on the house and she held the finance all together working from 5am Till 11pm. for years never taking a day off . i have had many comments from people over the years saying how dedicated she was to looking after people . Taking on things that she didn’t have to do but she would never come home until she had them all safely in bed . Waking me up sometimes at 1am making something to eat before she fell asleep watching pop idol. Bless her

it always felt like the house would never be finished and we where running to the edge of the world and she said “it can’t be far”
But no one thought our world would end this way.

SICKFIXATION
Christbitten (The Best View From Heaven) sickfixation 2020 ©